After all this time? After all the days and years and decades, c'est-à-dire, all the centuries that allowed you to distance yourself so conveniently? To forget?
I recall with perfect clarity every hour spent walking this cursed, interminable path you chose for me. I once feared the darkness I saw in myself; I clung desperately to your light to keep the looming shadows at bay.
How many minutes in two hundred years?
As many minutes as I've been cut off from the last vestiges of light, every agonizing second revealing to me deeper shades of blackness beyond anything my undamned mind could have imagined. I have been consumed by the very pit that haunted my mortal nightmares, my only solace found in discovering my true capacity for pure, unadulterated hate.
So yes, lover, after all this time I resent you more devoutly than ever. Can you be so surprised? After all, was it not you who gifted me with all the seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, decades, centuries in which to hone my bitterness down to something so sharp and unyielding?
[In the end, it's not the rant that shows how far gone Nicki's mind is; it's how he took the time to type it all out into a text. It's the fact he's been presumably waiting for centuries to type that unapologetic wall-of-text without a hint of irony. Because apparently this is what's important to him even after all this time.]
[Lestat just...lets Nicholas talk. It doesn't occur to him to do anything else but stand there and let wave after wave of revulsion spill forth, crashing into him like an ocean's tide worth of resentment. He can feel his heart crack open anew as he listens, old scars tearing out into new wounds.
How do you answer to two hundred years' worth of anger? How do you fold madness back when it is so frozen into a person's undeath?
Lestat's voice is quiet, pained, but utterly sincere.]
If I could bring you to a place of light, to a place without bitterness or pain, I would do so without question. Whatever it cost me, I would. It is an idea that has haunted me since we parted, that there would be some way I could undo it all for you.
I know such a path may not exist, but I do wish for it all the same.
@ unwillingdevil | it's almost like he's been bottling this up for ca. 200 years
After all this time? After all the days and years and decades, c'est-à-dire, all the centuries that allowed you to distance yourself so conveniently? To forget?
I recall with perfect clarity every hour spent walking this cursed, interminable path you chose for me. I once feared the darkness I saw in myself; I clung desperately to your light to keep the looming shadows at bay.
How many minutes in two hundred years?
As many minutes as I've been cut off from the last vestiges of light, every agonizing second revealing to me deeper shades of blackness beyond anything my undamned mind could have imagined. I have been consumed by the very pit that haunted my mortal nightmares, my only solace found in discovering my true capacity for pure, unadulterated hate.
So yes, lover, after all this time I resent you more devoutly than ever. Can you be so surprised? After all, was it not you who gifted me with all the seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, decades, centuries in which to hone my bitterness down to something so sharp and unyielding?
[In the end, it's not the rant that shows how far gone Nicki's mind is; it's how he took the time to type it all out into a text. It's the fact he's been presumably waiting for centuries to type that unapologetic wall-of-text without a hint of irony. Because apparently this is what's important to him even after all this time.]
Nickiiiiiiii ;3;
How do you answer to two hundred years' worth of anger? How do you fold madness back when it is so frozen into a person's undeath?
Lestat's voice is quiet, pained, but utterly sincere.]
If I could bring you to a place of light, to a place without bitterness or pain, I would do so without question. Whatever it cost me, I would. It is an idea that has haunted me since we parted, that there would be some way I could undo it all for you.
I know such a path may not exist, but I do wish for it all the same.